The art of letting go

Often times, we avoid letting go some items, keeping them as talismans or symbols of sweeter times or hopes of a better future. It is normal to want to do so, for we are all human beings, made up of emotions, feelings, experiences, memories, thoughts and dreams. What we do need to remember though, is the very symbols might be what are keeping us locked, preventing us from moving forward to achieve our goals. It is all fine to want to keep a tiny memoir, but if that memoir is blocking our ability to function fully, then it is time to re-evaluate our keepsakes.

I recently revisited my childhood home. It was painful to see that only the ghost of my memories now resides there. Gone are the people I grew up with, like me, they too have flown to build their nests elsewhere. The grounds we once played in are still there, as are the buildings, but the faces that now use them are strangers, I don’t know them, and they don’t know me. What was once “my place” is now “theirs.” I have no claim to it anymore. And here I had been, looking forward to that trip all this while, seeing the place as it once existed in my mind’s eye – far more colorful and grander than life than it actually is. Because my mind’s eye is based on my memories, and my memories are from when I was a child – when everything was more vibrant and huge to the little me. Needless to say, I cut my visit short, having no one to meet, nothing more to see, for whatever I had wanted to visit was far more beautiful and approachable in my mind’s eye than in person. The reality check was exactly what I needed to discard my notions of glamorous past.

The first thing I did upon returning home was hunt through my photo albums for pictures of my fondest memories in that place, and upon finding them, digitize each photo, and journal the memories as best as I remembered, taking care to invest time in labeling each moment. Those memories are still sought after by my friends, who enjoyed reading the tales, allowing them to revisit their childhood in their minds too. What had seemed like a futile trip, suddenly turned into an opportunity for a much-discussed trip down the memory lane with friends who had walked the same lanes with me in those days.

The next thing I did was discard all old files and medals and trophies I’d won during the sports day organized in the place I grew up in. They were a heavy burden to carry each time I moved, and I have moved a LOT, and occupied way too much physical space, without ever being even looked at or sought after. The trip made me realize that the only purpose they served was to make me dust even more, for those old things were dust collectors. I had thought I would feel sad upon letting them go as I thanked each piece for having symbolized my joy and pride of winning running races as a toddler. To my amazement though, I not only felt lighter, but I felt happier the next morning when I realized the entire shelf was clear, which meant I did not have to dust those individual pieces anymore! The next move was certainly a few pounds lighter.

I still have a beautiful kerchief hand embroidered by my neighbor, and given to me as a gift on my tenth birthday, those were indeed simpler times. I still cherish it, it goes with me everywhere in my purse, a talisman of bonds that transcended blood relations. My kitchen contains a gorgeous serving spoon which I inherited from my maternal grandmother, a container I inherited from my paternal grandmother, and a ladle which came from my maternal great-grandmother. These are all items I use regularly in my home, and each time I use them, I think of these ladies with fondness. Case in point being, it is easier to delve into memories using talismans that serve you, for they allow you to cherish the memories and still go on with your life.

Don’t be afraid to reminisce. I get to see the digitized pictures whenever the mood strikes, and when time permits, allow my mind a free wander around the childhood lanes. Letting go the actual symbols of those memories has given me the liberty to cherish the memories themselves better.