Overcoming the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) Through Minimalism

A couple is seated on a bench overlooking a cliff, staring out at the beautiful sunset. The girl is calm and poised. The boy is frenzied and nervous.

“We must hurry,” he says, making to get up, “or we’ll miss the celebrity event!”

“Stay awhile,” she replies, not moving from her place, not even turning her head to look at him, “or we’ll miss this gorgeous sunset.”

He looks perplexed.

Her hair flying behind her in the evening breeze, the rays of the setting sun casting a golden glow around her, she finally turns to meet his gaze, and smiles gently, “there’s always going to be something we miss. We cannot get to enjoy everything. We must learn to be content in the moment.”

I do not remember what movie this dialogue or scene is from. But I do remember the goosebumps it gave me, for her words struck a cord deep inside my very soul. Back then, I was like most of the rest of us – always keen on being a member of the “inner circle,” making sure I was invited to each party worth being invited to, always primed to society’s definition of perfection, my hair perfectly styled, my dresses rarely ever repeated at parties, my makeup always flawless and so on. All because I had FOMO, the Fear Of Missing Out. What if something got discussed about me? What if some plans were made and I was forgotten to be included just because I was absent at that party? Who said what to whom, and why wasn’t I in on that secret? Blah blah blah blah blah. That moment in that movie was my “eureka” point, and I felt exactly like the boy.

It led me to analyze everything that I was doing. This analysis took weeks. Finally, after painfully giving an honest answer to each of the points in my self-reflection, I was left with the biggest and baddest question of all – what was the point of all this? If someone forgot me because I missed one party, was the event I was so worried about even worth giving my breath to? If someone was gossiping behind my back, was that relationship even worthy of being labeled as friendship? I came to a realization: Just because you want to ensure that someone is willing to lend you a hand in times of trouble is not enough reason to bend over backwards and surrender your self-respect to them when the times are good. Yes, we all strive to create a village, one where our children can flourish in a safe and secure setting, especially those of us who leave the safety net of our home countries to build a life on foreign soil. But building the village at what cost? At the cost to our self-esteem? At the cost to our self confidence? Isn’t that the price of FOMO?

This revelation further catalyzed my journey to minimalism. While decluttering objects, I slowly but steadily also began to declutter relationships. No more did I even want to have anything to do with events which consisted of talking about people. I decluttered my interactions with such events, until finally, I was fully free of the burden of fake glitter, and was left with a few select group of people with whom I could sit in my pajamas and enjoy a simple cup of hot tea on cold evenings, or go for hikes on sunny mornings, or even paint the town a proverbial red in our finest dresses. Those are the relationships which nourish my soul, for I feel no pressure to “keep up” appearances. They have seen me in my finest glitter, and are just as comfortable seeing me come unraveled on days I am hormonal. And of course, vice versa applies too. No expectations. Straightforward stuff.

So how exactly did minimalism help me combat FOMO?

  1. Shifting Priorities. Identifying what truly adds value to my life, I let go of the rest, allowing me to ignore the external pressures or trends.
  2. Reducing Digital Noise. Social media is a huge FOMO trigger, the pressure to post pictures of oneself having a gala time, looking glamorous, with equally fancy-looking friends, in palatial venues, with fine dining, you get my drift. Minimalism poured into my digital life, and I unfollowed accounts that did not inspire me anymore. I began enjoying social media the way it was always meant to be enjoyed – to relieve the day’s stress, and to inspire and motivate me instead of pushing comparison and anxiety. Intentional screen time helped focus on my own experiences, on what brings me joy.
  3. Focusing on Quality Over Quantity. Minimalism emphasizes depth over breadth. Whether it’s relationships, activities, or possessions, valuing quality helped me find contentment in what I already have, instead of wanting to chase what others seem to enjoy.
  4. Living in the Present. FOMO often pulls one into the hypothetical—what could have been. Minimalism fosters mindfulness, encouraging me to appreciate the present moment and fully engage with what I am doing.
  5. Building Resilience to External Validation. Minimalism helped reduce my reliance on others’ validation by fostering self-awareness, thus diminishing the fear of missing out.

How I adopted a minimalist approach.

  1. Defining values. It was hard, but I had to reflect on what mattered to me the most. It finally boiled down to meaningful relationships and personal growth. This became the guide for further decisions.
  2. Decluttering my physical space. I always thought I was a neatness freak. Boy was I in for a shock. Once I embarked on the minimalistic journey, a lot of my possessions showed up as clutter, for they were in my visual space, blocking my thoughts, sucking my energy. I realized I was being possessed by them instead of them being possessed by me. I was constantly tidying up, dusting this, organizing that, and then buying more organizers to contain it all. The journey to removing items that did not serve a purpose or bring joy was a surprisingly easy one, for once I saw the benefits of a clean shelf, I wanted everything in the house to reflect the same calm.
  3. Boundaries for Social Media. It wasn’t easy. I love aimlessly scrolling through social media at bed time, and sometimes, even when I wake up in the middle of the night for quick bio break. It took some discipline, self-control, and a lot of self-talk to finally realize that it was in my best interests to schedule specific times for browsing. And now, I have come to relish that time, for it is a part of my unwinding zone.
  4. Practice Gratitude. This crucial step was immensely helpful, especially in the initial days of my journey to minimalism. Acknowledging and appreciating what I had allowed me to enjoy it, relish it, and cherish it. I even went so far as to verbally express gratitude for the material things as well as the intangible blessings in my life. Hearing myself say it made it somehow truer.
  5. Learning to say “no”, and saying it more often. This was by far the hardest step. As a woman born in the late 1900s, I had somehow imbibed that saying “no” is rude. Politeness was always associated with “yes.” It took a lot of self “reengineering” to learn to decline commitments in an assertive manner without sounding apologetic or regretful while still staying polite and true to myself. It came with its benefits. To my amazement, not only I felt lighter, but I automatically became more focused on each commitment that I did have, able to fulfill them way better than in the past when I would be overwhelmed with too much.

The Rewards of Minimalism

I gained freedom—freedom from the pressure to keep up, freedom from unnecessary distractions, and freedom to live a life that aligns with my true self. With fewer possessions and obligations, I discovered more time, more energy, and definitely more mental clarity to focus on what genuinely fulfills me. I now have time to go on long jogs on the weekends, and am now gearing up for my next 10k, a dream that seemed unachievable less than a year ago!

Minimalism doesn’t mean missing out—it means choosing intentionally and finding joy in the path you carve for yourself. I now have a group of friends I go hiking with every weekend, a standing coffee date with two dear friends for every second Saturday of months that have thirty-one days.  Embracing a minimalist mindset has erased my FOMO and replaced it with a deep sense of contentment and purpose.